I’ve written a series of blogs on how Remainers are reacting to the Referendum and why we think Leavers voted Leave. You can read them in any order you like but, I’d suggest, you start with the introduction: It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I feel ashamed).
WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS IRONY. If you voted Leave, please go to “I voted Leave – what is irony?”; If you voted Remain, please scroll down to “Leavers are Thick”.
I voted Leave – what is irony?
Irony is saying one thing but meaning the opposite. When Remainers do this, it’s called irony and it’s clever, witty and amusing; when you do it, it’s called sarcasm and it’s the lowest form of humour.
During this post, I will be calling you, Dear Leaver, thick, and demonstrate that we Remainers are clever; however, I mean the opposite. Go it?
What’s difficult now is that, knowing Remainers, with their degrees and ability to read and need to know things, they are reading this, and you Leavers, with your hatred of experts and knowledge and learning, have already switched off and gone to shout abuse at immigrants as you make your way to Wetherspoons for cheap, tasteless lager; so, I’m actually writing this bit to Remainers whilst pretending I’m writing for Leavers and being ironic all at the same time. It’s blown your mind that, hasn’t it, Leaver? We call this “meta” which is a Greek prefix now used as an adjective which we use to show when something is complicated, interwoven and we want to sound intelligent about it.
Dear Leaver, if you have struggled this far without a picture of a topless woman or a colouring book, well done and read on…
Leavers are Thick
Leavers are thick. It’s a fact. Look at the polling data: university educated people tended to vote Remain whilst those with GCSEs only tended to vote Leave. Ergo, Leavers are thick.
I can say that because we have university degrees: this means we are better able to think critically, weigh-up information and, overall, make an informed decision. Our intelligence means we’re better at making decisions than them.
They read little beyond The Sun, struggled in school and work with their hands.
How on Earth, can they think that they have a right to vote when they haven’t done the research like we have? When Tom Perkins, an American venture capitalist, suggested the rich should get more votes, we shook our heads and gasped incredulously at the arrogance of the elite; but some form of test before you get your voter’s licence might be a good idea – it’s not elitist to say that you should have a sufficient grasp of the issues, just common sense to ensure we don’t get the wrong result again in future.
How Leavers and Remainers Decided
Remainers chose an unbiased, factually-accurate, thoughtful, nuanced and balanced outlet which carefully weighed-up the pros and cons of the referendum, like The Guardian, which finally came to a decision which it revealed to its readers. Remainers read the articles about why we should vote Remain and, after carefully thinking over how the result would affect us, did what The Guardian said we should. We then shared carefully selected snippets of information across social media which demonstrated, without doubt, that Remain was the only sensible decision for us and, therefore, the whole country.
Leavers, on the other hand, find long, complicated articles very difficult so just read The Sun. The Sun is owned by Rupert Murdoch and is bad – and I know this because The Guardian told me so. After only engaging with The Sun’s flimsy, biased articles gave them only one side of the story and, like sheep, they blindly followed the flawed Leave pathway, churning out endless memes with silly little ditties about why we should Vote Leave. As this type of person communicates through Facebook, these flawed, facile, vacuous posts were shared and picked up by other ignorant folk who shared again. The falsehoods spread and, not thinking of the whole country, the Leavers selfishly voted on what they mistakenly believed was good for them, totally ignoring the rest of the country.
The difference between how Leavers and Remainers approached the Referendum couldn’t be more stark.
Leavers are Really Thick
It’s not just in the run up to the Referendum where Leavers’ lack of intelligence has shone through, and is the root of every reason why Leavers voted Leave; Leavers’ being thick has lead ensured that they are:
- Racist: unable to compete in the modern job market, they wildly lash out at anyone or anything that is different.
- Nationalistic and xenophobic: unable to comprehend the modern world, they try to hold back progressive, forward-thinking, right-minded people with some 20th Century notion of nationhood and pride in one’s country.
- Politically ignorant: unable to understand which of the parties would be best for our country, they shun voting as it is too taxing for their brains. When confronted with simple, straightforward propaganda which spoke to them and their simple lives, they were powerless to resist and voted for a group of people who lied to them, promised things they couldn’t deliver and will, sadly, let them down.
- Economically illiterate: unable to comprehend how their vote could change the macroeconomics of the entire world, they blindly voted without a thought about how the markets would react, thus endangering everyone’s pension, mortgage, house price, stock portfolio, holiday to The Maldives, optimal Pound-to-Uruguayan Peso exchange rate, and ability to buy a Tuscan villa after early retirement – including their own!
Each of these will be explained in its own blog post (appearing shortly) – but it is the Leavers’ lack of intelligence and education from which all the others spring.
Children need Parents to act like Parents
Children need a good education to grow into fully-functioning adults – that’s why we bought houses in good areas and sent our kids to good schools. We did our best: we made sure the schools in our neighbourhoods are good by joining the PTA, becoming parent governors and buying from the jumble sale, ensuring our children get good results, go to university, take unpaid internships then get a good job from one of friends, and it’s not our fault if Leavers can’t be bothered to do the same. We even made sure that London schools (which have many BAME students, by the way) went from being the worst in the country to being the best, giving them money, support and expertise – and we had plans to do the same for other places in the country, even the North, until it became clear that fixing education for everyone would be too expensive for us.
Leavers didn’t have good parents like us so, sadly, have remained like children.
It’s for this reason, like good parents, that we’ve had to do what do best: start a petition to undo this whole sorry mess they created. Good parents, after children have made a mistake, scold and mop up the mess; that’s what we’re doing by trying to get the Referendum annulled.
Leavers: We don’t blame you for the mistake you made – we know that you didn’t, couldn’t, understand the consequences of your actions but, don’t worry, we’re sorting it out for you.
It’s not entirely Leavers’ fault, though. They haven’t been to the polls in a while so can’t understand how this all works. How we laughed when they thought they had to take their own pens to the polling station; how we laughed when they fell in behind right wingers who’d listened to them and given them a reason to vote when we knew they were liars and would abandon them as soon as the vote was won; how we laughed at Leavers. Well, nobody’s laughing now.
These people were allowed a political party years ago, and the fact they can’t even be bothered to vote with and for Labour is another demonstration of their lack of intelligence and inability to choose what’s best for them. The Labour Party’s so good, it’s even got us voting for it, so it must be right. The Labour Party told these people how they should vote; it’s just a shame we’re all suffering because they wouldn’t listen to what’s best for them.
The best demonstrations of the Leavers’ intellect is how they reacted to the vote. They have now seen both the error of their ways and seen sense and wish they could take their votes back. There’s even a word for it: Regrexit. I know this because The Independent told me and I’m glad this has been a learning experience for Leavers. I look forward to the next election when they can go back to not voting, mindful of the regret they felt after the last time they tried.
Yes, we’re all suffering because of Leavers’ mistakes – but we’re all in this together. Yes, I have checked that grandmamma was born in Limerick – but that’s just a contingency plan. Leavers are thick – but if you give your car keys to your kid, you can’t blame the kid when she crashes the car.
We need Referendum 2 because, now they’ve seen that they made a mistake, they can atone by going back to letting educated people make the decisions.
This part isn’t ironic. The most serious threat to our democracy isn’t the Leave Vote – it’s the next vote.
The Referendum got people back interested in politics, got people back voting and got people to stand up and be counted. The referendum has shown us all that we matter and we all make a difference. If we dismiss that, we should be ashamed – and scared.
To vote again would be a slap in the face of every return-voter, every person who thought, finally, they had a voice, and to every one of our rights. If we vote again, I don’t think I could vote Leave because I believe it is the wrong choice; however, I don’t think I could vote Remain because couldn’t silence my countrymen just because they voted in their interests and beliefs and not mine.
If our country chooses to overturn the result, to run another vote, to override the democratic will of us, [∆s], [uz], the people, there will – and there should – be rioting in the streets. I will be amongst them and any Remainer who boasted of the EU’s voting system, MEPs’ proportional representation or Europe’s equal, equitable democratic process should be out there with us.
I read or heard well in excess of 100,000 words about the EU Referendum which led me to two conclusions:
1 – I should vote Remian (based on my life, my lifestyle, my outlook and the (completely biased) sources I chose to consult).
2 – That I knew very, very little. However, after a small amount of research (sourced from places and people who agreed with my voting preference), I believed I knew enough to pick which of the experts’ opinions I was going to agree with, even though I couldn’t understand every facet and nuance of their economic, political or philosophical arguments.
After the referendum, I came to two conclusions about Leavers:
1 – They should vote Leave (based on their lifestyle, their outlook, and the (completely biased) sources they chose to consult).
2 – Like me, they knew very, very little. However, they believed they knew enough to pick a side.
Overall, we (the informed intelligentsia) and they (the thickos) both thought we had enough to make an informed decision, and exercised our democratic right based on the information we had. In truth, we both read people who agreed with us, picked the facts that suited our point of view and voted for what we thought was best for us and our families. That’s democracy.
The opinions of many people in our country have been dismissed because they disagreed with ours (Remain), and we have started to evidence our dismissal by pointing out that Leavers are more likely to be educated to GCSE level so their opinion is less valid, and pretending that a 2:2 in Art History means we are better able to speak about macroeconomics.
Maybe the leaders we chose for our parties should have gone to areas with poorer educational outcomes, spoken to them and offered them a solution, communicating why their vote mattered, how their vote could shape the country into something better for them and how standing up and being counted can change the world. Instead, because “they don’t vote”, we ignored them… except for UKIP, who listened and offered a simple solution, communicating clearly about how their vote mattered, could shape the country and could change the world. Clever people like me could dismiss UKIP and its voters as racist fools – we can’t anymore and it’s me who feels thick. Thick and aloof.
Maybe we should remember that the first time the poor, uneducated and politically disenfranchised rose up and outvoted the establishment in a vote the establishment couldn’t lose was 1946, and we got the NHS and welfare state. That’s one reason to celebrate democracy and the referendum.